At present I am posted in Gyn/Ob department of KEM. And 10 more days to go. And I remembered Dr.MSVK Rajoo, my psychiatry HOD from my alma mater in Loni. Now what’s the connection you would ask. I will come to that, at the risk of being bashed up by all the feminists and probably my non feminist gal pals too. But I take the risk anyways. This has been bothering me for a few days now and finally I decided to put my feelings into words. Not only have I been busy but have also learnt that when you post too frequently the number of comments you get on your older posts reduces…..:)

Coming back to Dr. Rajoo. He is one of my professors I have adored. And who have inspired me. After one Dr. Abhang Prabhu who inspired me to take up MBBS, Dr. Rajoo was the one because of who my interest in Psychiatry deepened. Then one day he made a statement in class, “A woman’s biggest enemy is another woman.” And God was I scandalised!! He clarified, saying visit the maternity ward to know more, to see how one woman treats another. And I forgot all about it till I joined here. He wasn’t too wrong. Here I see many gy/ob PGs……all females themselves treating their patients very badly. Those coming in the middle of the night to the labour ward are the ones treated the worst, “Arey if your tummy hurts, but you are not ready to deliver your baby, I can’t admit you. Admit karke kya pooja karu tumahi?” Now thats not very consoling to the lady who’s just 7 months pregnant, worried she’s in labour too soon. Ok, you are overworked, your unit has in all about 100 patients, your diurnal rhythm is screwed for life and you don’t remember when was it that you last slept. But is that the fault of the distressed patient sitting in front of you? Didn’t you know before taking up this field that all your patients are going to be women coming in unannounced, in multiples and they are going to be anxious!! As a fellow woman can you not understand their anxiety! And when you start your private practice…will you still shout at each and every female who comes in at 4 am with labour pains?

I still do not completely agree with Dr. Rajoo but what he said wasn’t too far from the truth….I am sad…


30 responses to “Musings…..

  1. Varsha, you know Abhang? He is one great guy.

  2. this thing abt woman…is somehwt true

  3. @ suraj….maybe..somewhat, partially…same i feel too

    @ Dadoji…how do you know Dr.Prabhu? Ya he is indeed a great guy…used to teach us when we were in 12th..guided me a lot during CET..tried to meet him but he’s way to busy. Don’t tell he one of your KEM relatives?

  4. actually i have heard that many a times and believe it to be true.. its not just there.. I was in engineering school.. 5 girls in a class of me.. the backbiting and bitching and obstacles that girls lay out for u.. not to mention the elaborate rumors.. no guys will bother

  5. Hey I ageee with your doc…truly there is no bigger misogynist than another woman:) And you don’t need to peer into a gynaec ward for that, just take a look around. If a bunch of women choose to black list another, she hasn’t a hope in hell of making it on her own. WHich is perhaps why most of us have more guy friends than girl friends:)

  6. varsha: He calls my Mama “Sir”. My Mama was in KEM. I thought recently my Mama was also teaching CET kids (he loves to teach and – like my grandfather – is a great teacher) along with Abhang but I might be wrong. I last met Abhang about 2 years ago at my Mama’s birthday. He had brought a butterscotch cake from Merwan’s for his “Sir”.

  7. Can’t comment about it much, but I have heard women can be another woman’s worst enemy.
    Anyway talking about KEM. I used to work in that neighborhood, was at Haffkine’s for a bit. And then at the TMC for the longest time. Ocassionally ate at the cafe too at the medical school. They used the same curry base for 5 diff dishes. lol
    Also used to eat at the little Udipi restaurant on the corner on the street near Wadia. Wonder if ti is still there? Was it Kamaths? Sheesh not sure.

  8. I had relatives at KEM too. Really distressed to hear how the pregnant women are treated by other women.

  9. @ Aditi and MD…*sigh* true….the bitching and backbiting is sad. Knew a bunch of 7 girls who were so called “one group”…and in there they had a babe who would bitch about the rest to anyone who would care to listen. C’mon, you don’t expect this from friends…

    @ Dadoji….I c…Even Abhang Sir is passionate about teaching so he is now into coaching full time. He is a pakka GSite..MBBS and MD both there. Please pass on his contact number if you have it. His landline no which I had has long changed and have a cell no of his which is like 6 yrs old…probably changed too.

    @ KJ..ya same curry…heh heh. Never seen this Udipi place you mention…must try and find. Ever been to hotel Milan?

    @ MG…ya I was way too disturbed..

  10. Never been there, maybe I don’t recall. Also it’s almost 15 yrs since I left so probably things have changed… but not the curry base lol

  11. that is one of the BIGGEST problems in healthcare, no matter where you go. although in US, the whole “lawsuit” thing reminds ppl to be a little nicer, but regardless its a huge problem.

    i remember on my rotation at the hospital, i saw horrible things in acute care. i think the problem stems from ROUTINE. you get into the routine of doing things after practicing for a while and with that routine comes DESENSITIZATION.
    once u learn to set ure feelings aside, you treat the PROBLEM not the PATIENT. as soon as you starting treating the problem, your attitude changes to rude, and horrifying.

    i guess what u have to remember is to treat the patient as a whole or you might one day make a mistake you cant reverse… that a liability we live with and hopefully appreciate.

    sorry for the saga in ure comment!

  12. Yes, it’s true women are the meanest to other women especially those that have better looks which attracts the guys or a husband they covet.

  13. This is really sad! I mean illtreating patients when you have chosen to be a doctor is really pathetic.

  14. yeah Varsha,i agree with Anumita..
    But you can be such a nice doctor that one can adore you..

  15. pooj: You are right about desensitisation of course but treating the problem does not necessarily translate into being inhuman to patients. I have seen many doctors who were very stern but never rude.

    varsha: I want to say the cell might still be the same but will send you the numbers later. Just spoke to Mama about something else but forgot about this.

    And KJ might be talking about Aditi and not Milan.

  16. “A woman’s biggest enemy is another woman.”
    And the worstest worst enemy is hottest-hot wimmen 😛

    that “aarti karu kya tumhari” was funny…do they really say that?

    Have u eva said something like that…just curious you see 😉

  17. @ Chocolateluva…so true…we lose our human touch in the routine..and many more sagas are welcome!!

    @ Cyberkitty….ya have seen that in my class…better you look, more the rumours of your being a slut, pregnant or a plain mean bitch…sigh

    @ Anumita..oh you bet, Thats why I was disturbed

    @ Gangadhar….thats my aim.. 🙂

    @ Dadoji…hmnnn possible…Aditi is a NICE place, I like the masala pav there. And has the udipi feel

    @ Arz00n..yes she ACTUALLY said that…I never have. Although their frustration did wear off on me a bit and i reprimanded a lady for calling me “sister” and not “doctor”…even “madam” is fine but sister?? But felt a bit bad immediately. Not that a sister is any lesser than the doc, but I am not one…so don’t call me one..

  18. Frustration RUBBED off on me…silly mistake…

  19. imagine reading the comments and going what where why.. my name being thrown around.. hehe ok.. its a restarunt near KEM.. i get it

  20. hmm women being a women’s worse enemy? there’s no further need to even validate that cause ITS A FACT!!
    i go to school with 42 other PT STUDENTS, OUT of that 42, only 7 are guys, u do the math!

    its estrogen central and i hate it!

  21. Not a surprising as I(guess we)have seen this around us many time..But I guess it is the other way around as well..If we really want to be with someone we can be their biggest friends and support as well

  22. yeah.. i knw.. have seen it myself.. one reason i dont adore many docs.. 🙂 but then some are really gr8 humans.. n u seem to be going there.. ;).. sister.. 😛 hehe.. kidding haan..

  23. @ Chocolateluva…hmnn I can understand. But somehow I have had rather nice gal pals too…On the one hand gals can be super mean too..and on the other, you do need your share of gal pals to keep your sanity…GUYS JUST DON’T LISTEN…

  24. Sometimes, guys and girls don’t mix. In a software development team, girls usually leave early due to family commitments… that’s when the guys say, “She doesn’t do anything. Why does she get paid more than we do? She gets all the credit. The stuff she’s implementing is going to make it harder for us.”

  25. Nice one..
    I do have seen, that where there are more females, more the trouble.. But sometimes, only women understand each other..
    proabably, when you will go deeper in Psychiatry, u will understand better about how and why.. Do let me know then..

  26. i think docs are overworked so the frustration comes out on the patients.. but this overworked thing is not a new thing so they shld have thought over this b4 taking up the profession..

    but tht arti karu kya sounds very funny.. though sad tht it was diverted at a lady in labour pain

  27. Then there’s the trouble of seeing both sides of the coin..overworked underpaid meet overstressed preggies…there is bound to be chaos..and that too two females 😮 Gawd!! Ins’t htat hwy hte aerth uqakes?

  28. lol.. okie.. wont call u that.. 🙂

  29. abt the second incident.. revealing her secrets to you who’s a doc that too female and a stranger as well, was quite easy for her

  30. and these losers fill in KEM as their first choice… for what?! they take it bcoz of the “patient volume”… well, so face it damn it!

    these gyob residents are worse than the med/surg ones, who surely handle more patients. and what the heck! 90% women will deliver on their own… like it’s been happening for 10000 years now! a ruptured appendix, diabetic coma… well that’s where you reall need a doc!

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